hey big spender!!!

mood: happy
music: Ella Fitzgerald songs

oooo.. not sure if i did put an entry last night.. i guess i didn’t but what the hell.. i’ll still make kwento anyway…

we are sooo near to finding out who harassed me earlier.. right now im busy gathering my people to make the next few months of their lives miserable. okay i think im exagerating.. maybe for a couple of days…..

i have eaten too much of their crap you know. a part of me is still soft and guilty to make the call, but a part of me says that i have to stand up.. i can’t be forever harrassed like this.. if i don’t put my food down now, we will forever have tormentors.. and i think i would like to show josh that this is too much, and im not willing to sit down and harass me any further. besides our main suspect shouldn’t even have an grudge against me because i never did him any wrong!! i mean diba? parang, ANO BANG GINAWA KO SAYO? wait i think i did write this down earlier.. hehehe.

didn’t get to talk to papa j last night.. awmannn.. that really sucks.. hay.. but its okay.. im trying to wait for him now but he is so tagal to wake up! grr!!

i spent so much today… i bought these lovely pair of pointed pumps that has been my dream to buy ever since i was a kid.. it was £30.00… not bad for a week’s salary of £100.. but then it still sucks because im sending money to the Philippines and i have phone lines to pay and a cell to buy.. all luxuries.. but what the hell. i want it, and i can godamn pay for it anyway.. hehe.. and not to mention that i bought bath salts and bombs for £10, and an IDT card for £17…heheee

IM SOOO HAPPY..ÜÜÜÜÜÜ i FINALLY found a POOL CLUB!! isn’t that STUPENDIFIDOUS? SPLENDIRIFIC even!!! i can finally play billiards. when i saw the place i swear my heart lept like i found my long lost son or something.. membership was £10… but thats lifetime na.. i can’t wait to join the tournaments!! i mean, i know i have been out of practice but what the hell diba? that’s why nga i joined e!! was planning to join a new gym but i bought a DVD nalang of a workout. which was £14.00.. so can you just imagine how much was left of my sweldo? im not even calculating it anymore..gee.. i really have to find another less time-consuming job. sayang naman my new atm and credit card kung walang laman ang account ko!! HAAHAH!!

my eyes are playing tricks on me.. i keep seeing that a yahoo message pops up of my lower right screen.. i really miss my papa j.. gosh.. cant take this na….

owelll, i have to go, coz my sister will wake up really really soon. see yah.Ü

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let the good times roll!!!

mood: accomplished
music: Bring me to life – evanescence

what a nice day it is today.. okay.. not so because my enter key, as usual has failed me.. i dont know what the hell is wrong with it but anyway…. i guess i just have to do it without the enter key… sooo…. it has been such a great day.. first of all, i have my bank account already.. YAYE!!!! and it is a current account.. which means i have a credit card and a checkbook.. yeah yeah mababaw kung mababaw but thats meeee!!! i miss my credit cards back in the philippines.. for a stupid reason i totally forgot about it until the time i was already in the airport.. gee bob, nice going.. but anyway.. i have a new credit card here so all is well.. sad thing is that i have to pay for it na myself.. back home i had my dad pay for it.. i just usually buy books and stuff but then i guess now i really have to earn for it. good thing that my pay here is not that bad.. plus i really dont have friends here so i cant go out shopping or malling.. that is good news and bad news.. i guess i better take it that way. anyway.. so there nga…my other good news is that they finally have a lead on who to my oppressors are in ym… YES. *sniff sniif* revenge is soooo sweet.. especially when served cold. im not really like this you know.. the revenge type of girl.. but then, that was too much, and i guess i have my limitations too.. so sue me. one group of hackers have identified 20 users of blacksheep_brat. and one of them is someone we really know.. but we have to make sure that he is the one who really did it.. anyway… i would really want to kill ice_joshua.. hes the one who really hurt me. and my papa j as well. so he better pay.. hmmmmm im not sure how they’re going to do with my friendster account but ill leave that to the geniuses… as for me.. revenge is sweet. it sounds so bad.. but im really enjoying it.. maybe its time to step up and not take what everybody throws at me.. ive been eating this shit for more than a year now so i guess they better cut me some slack naman diba… okay… gotta AFK first.. my baby is on line… see yah.

mood: determined music: I Am What I Am no place …

mood: determined
music: I Am What I Am

no place for a title today.. because simply it was a blah day… i slept for 5 hours before this!! would you believe right after dinner i went to sleep na.. only because i want more time in the net every evening (PHilippine time) and i felt that it would be much faster to work at night.. and then now, my computer cant fucking access Friendster.

great.

not that i have become a friendster addict, but i guess its because i have been doing testimonials loooong due to certain people.. and for some odd reason, my friends started adding up again.. and people i don’t know at all!! you know those group thingees.. anyway so there.

here’s my story last night.

i told josh about the stalker thing.. and i found out one lead to it… i was searching through Friendster for people i didn’t make testis (this word really sounds baaad…) for.. and i stumbled upon this particular person who hangs out in my tambayan.. in Koleo.. where i rule supreme together with Josh (hehe). so anyway… guess what was in his “About Me:” section.

…blacksheep, brat…..

in that particular order.

i suddenly developed the chills.

could this be a sign? could he be the one who did it?

i mean, it could be purely coincidental.. yet everything fits in place.. i know that this guy likes me.. only i know too that he is scared of the people im affiliated with and feeling maton sha.

but i know when someone likes me or not. i just pretend to be dense so that i can save face.. or embarassment for both parties.

okay… now this has really become a personal journal. hehhe.something new you learn about me everyday.

so anyway… there nga.. this guy…it could be.. could be not.. as a true libran it is an inate characteristic to weigh the both sides of the story.. but i dont know.. really i dont know..

but i still told josh about it.. hoo boy.. and now his hackers are working on it.. and so are mine…

let the games begin.

another thing thats going through my mind is that i know even if he was the one.. he would never tell.. i mean ho wouuld diba? its going to be my word against his.. hay nako. and the one that i really want to kill was ice_joshua…. i really really really want to hurt that person.. ive never been like this before.. im usually mild mannered and super steady when it comes to crisis like this.. but he changed everything.

yeah, yeah, let go, shmet go.. i do. when im doing something different i dont think about it.. but when its time to think about it..

I REALLY DO.

ha. so there.. that was my day yesterday.. and today. well, its alright.. nothing new.. chatted with my papi.. thats what i call him now.. papi… hehehheeh…okay.. i have to check my other sites… see yah.

bladidahdidah…

mood: blah
music: Oh – dave matthews band

i really dont have much to say today here..just that im running out of money.. and i havent got my paycheck last week.. blah. oooooo boy… oh yeah, chatted with pangshk for a time there, but logged off din.. i guess ill go now.. its really late.. o i have kwento pla.. pero tom nalang yon okay… just to remind me, its about the hacker in my ym. GRR.

baby i love you…

mood: sick
music: baby i love you – jennifer lopez feat r kelly

Baby I Love You (Remix) Lyrics

[Intro]
Baby i love you ( i love you too )
You know i need you
Gotta have you ( what )
Cant be without you ( J.lo )

[R. Kelly]
Its like downtown New York in the middle of traffic jams
all i really want you to know is who i am
find me low key in the back of the club, roll with some fine females, rollin on dubs
you and me big pimpin on a shopping spree in L.A
papparatzis and critics who give a damn what they say

[J.Lo]
Boy i never knew i could feel they way i felt, when i met you i could never forget you
and boy when you look my way i realize more and more i adore your pretty eyes
what i wanna know from you is do you wanna share my love’s bliss
i long for the day when im feeling your kiss can you love me for a lifetime for just in one night im helpless for you
baby but its alright.

[CHORUS]
Baby i love you ( love you )
Baby i need you ( need you )
I gotta have you ( i gotta have you babe )
Cant be without you( be without you )
Baby i love you, ( yeaahhh )
Baby i need you ( need you )
I gotta have you, ( i gotta have you babe )
Cant be without you

[J.Lo]
Papi, i got something to say to you
Blessed and cursed on the day that
i felt the power of you inside me it was strong and i loved it,
And there comes a time in our lifes when things change, its a brand new day.
And baby ill spend it with you.
what i wanna know from you is do you wanna share my loves bliss
i long for the day when im
feeling your kiss, can you love me for a lifetime but just in one night im helpless for you
baby but its alright.

[CHORUS]

Baby i love you ( i love you too )
You know i need you ( j.lo )
Gotta have you (pied piper )
Cant be without you ( j.lo )

[R. Kelly]
Its like downtown New York in the middle of traffic jams
all i really want you to know is who i am
find me low key in the back of the club, roll with some fine females, rollin on dubs
you and me big pimpin on a shopping spree in L.A
papparatzis and critics who give a damn what they say.
rear-drop-top bentley on somebodys highway,
who let me jump in some club on his vallet
got alittle smoke, got alittle drinks sittin in V.I.P
got alittle buzz on my hands up honeys feeling me
got that criss sittin on ice like a gansta lean
hands surrounding them like dice like security
at the party in the rich compton penthouse suite
all my thugs and me breath smelling like hennesey
got a few friends flying in from San Diego
its a suprise party for my homie J.Lo
I need you ( baby i love you )
I gotta have you babe ( baby i need you )
baby i love you ( i gotta have you )
ooo i swear i do ( cant be without you )
(baby i love you )
oooo (baby i need you )
Ladies do you know what im talking about ( i gotta have you )”
======================================================================my damn enter doesnt work again.. i guess its the fault of the imesh.. but without it.. how can i possibly get new songs.. damn technology.. im so illiterate i swear!! haha.. okay.. good day but i was sick… really bad stomach.. but i lost 7 pounds (in one day ha!!) because of it.. tomorrow going to the gym to maintain it na.. i guess some bad things are good too.. i think.. nothing really new to share here but this song that has been on my mind forever!! okay.. gotta park… xoxo

always on my mind

mood: loved
music: Always on My Mind – Elvis Presley

this is the song i was talking about.. have to post it to a new entry just because i wanted to. its a free world anyway. 😀

Maybe I didn’t treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn’t love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died
Give me, give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied, satisfied

Maybe I didn’t hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I’m so happy that you’re mine
If I make you feel second best
Girl, I’m sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died
Give me, give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied, satisfied

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind

awww… i love my baby… he waited nga pla for me earlier and was really concerned about my trip with the model man… but.. it was all good. he’s going through my proofs anyway.

love can be blinding too…

mood: content
music: Always on my Mind – Elvis Presley

eeekkkk… what a long week i had…. really long… but i have to admit that it was quite spicy.. don’t you think? 😀

didn’t have the chance to log in yesterday due to the fact that i was sooo engrossed on fixing my computer which bugged out on me 2 days ago.. files were lost, precious pictures forever gone… but i guess they will always remain in my heart.

anyway.. yesterday was an okay day i guess.. joshua and i fought.

well, not really fought to the point of breaking up. it was just a normal me and him fighting over little things that couples usually do.

it all started when i wasnt able to sent the thesis that he wanted me to send… so i said maybe i can do something about it.. and then…

bobsie_casasola (4:22:49 AM): how does that sound…
joshua_tisoy (4:23:28 AM): ikaw bahala.. u just hav to be sure
joshua_tisoy (4:23:38 AM): wut time
joshua_tisoy (4:24:39 AM): wut time
joshua_tisoy (4:24:42 AM): wut time
joshua_tisoy (4:26:01 AM): u know i was relying on u
joshua_tisoy (4:26:24 AM): and i hav a lot of work to do
joshua_tisoy (4:27:33 AM): ano na
joshua_tisoy (4:28:31 AM): kng alam ko na ganun, ginawa ko na kagabi yan
joshua_tisoy (4:28:55 AM): wut na?
joshua_tisoy (4:28:57 AM): wut na?
joshua_tisoy (4:28:59 AM): wut na?
bobsie_casasola (4:29:02 AM): woah.. re you mad at me?
bobsie_casasola (4:29:17 AM): sorry i was reading the message of chants and kaye…
bobsie_casasola (4:29:27 AM): um… di ka rin demanding noh..
bobsie_casasola (4:29:34 AM): ull have it before night time.
bobsie_casasola (4:29:39 AM): ill do it after my shoot.
joshua_tisoy (4:30:03 AM): u want u talk to chants muna?
bobsie_casasola (4:30:11 AM): no.. it was an email.. are you mad?
bobsie_casasola (4:30:15 AM): what did i do?
joshua_tisoy (4:30:35 AM): nevermind
bobsie_casasola (4:30:41 AM): hon?
bobsie_casasola (4:30:45 AM): what?
joshua_tisoy (4:30:48 AM): im goin back to sleep
bobsie_casasola (4:30:48 AM): are you blaming me?
bobsie_casasola (4:30:51 AM): are you blaming me?
joshua_tisoy (4:30:56 AM): matulog ka na din
bobsie_casasola (4:30:57 AM): are you blaming me?
bobsie_casasola (4:31:03 AM): hoy
joshua_tisoy (4:31:25 AM): its late na der
bobsie_casasola (4:31:31 AM): dont dodge
joshua_tisoy (4:31:59 AM): ma2log ka na
bobsie_casasola (4:32:08 AM): dont dodge
joshua_tisoy (4:32:34 AM): ano ba yng shoot mo?
bobsie_casasola (4:32:51 AM): the model agency that charlie represents…
bobsie_casasola (4:33:00 AM): its not a studio palang.. gonna make it all natural
bobsie_casasola (4:33:06 AM): digicam plang
joshua_tisoy (4:33:27 AM): aok..mag ingat ka ha
bobsie_casasola (4:33:30 AM): dont doge sweetie…
bobsie_casasola (4:33:34 AM): are you mad at me?
bobsie_casasola (4:34:11 AM): you cant be mad at me for someting that you were suppose to do that i offered my help to but unfortunately due to inexplainable circumstances cant reach you
bobsie_casasola (4:34:22 AM): and god knows i worked for that
joshua_tisoy (4:34:36 AM): oo cge na
bobsie_casasola (4:35:07 AM): okay.. you are totally ignoring me…
bobsie_casasola (4:35:11 AM): i know youre pissed
bobsie_casasola (4:35:17 AM): and you need someone to blame..
bobsie_casasola (4:35:23 AM): so its fine. i understand.
bobsie_casasola (4:35:37 AM): look, i can cancel the shoot alreight.
bobsie_casasola (4:35:43 AM): ill do your thesis again
bobsie_casasola (4:36:07 AM): is that good for you?
joshua_tisoy (4:36:26 AM): nde na… do your shoot
bobsie_casasola (4:36:43 AM): kung magiging issue, i will step back
bobsie_casasola (4:36:47 AM): you know i will.
bobsie_casasola (4:36:54 AM): you know this is my weakness.
bobsie_casasola (4:37:05 AM): i cant stand you being like that… i really give in.
bobsie_casasola (4:37:08 AM): okay..
bobsie_casasola (4:37:13 AM): are you tired na?
bobsie_casasola (4:37:18 AM): go na to sleep.
bobsie_casasola (4:37:22 AM): ako na bahala dito
bobsie_casasola (4:38:06 AM): although icant help but say this.. this is your thesis.. and i want you to remember im doing this because i love yo.
bobsie_casasola (4:38:12 AM): although icant help but say this.. this is your thesis.. and i want you to remember im doing this because i love you
bobsie_casasola (4:38:21 AM): okay.. you are totally ignoring me
bobsie_casasola (4:38:33 AM): cant i even see a smile?
bobsie_casasola (4:38:43 AM): sige nanga.
bobsie_casasola (4:39:13 AM): ill send it to your email
bobsie_casasola (4:39:16 AM): i love you
bobsie_casasola (4:39:23 AM): and thanks ha.
bobsie_casasola (4:39:25 AM): please.
joshua_tisoy (4:39:44 AM): i love u 2…sori
bobsie_casasola (4:40:01 AM): sometime you really have to think…
bobsie_casasola (4:40:11 AM): sometimes you do hurt me.
joshua_tisoy (4:40:20 AM): i was just rattled coz im on a tight sched
bobsie_casasola (4:40:26 AM): i do whatever you want and still i dont feel appreciated.
joshua_tisoy (4:40:44 AM): u know i appreciate u!
joshua_tisoy (4:40:49 AM): dnt say that
bobsie_casasola (4:40:56 AM): i dont know hon..
bobsie_casasola (4:41:08 AM): sometimes i really think im not good enough for you.
joshua_tisoy (4:41:16 AM): if u dnt want to do it cge!
bobsie_casasola (4:41:21 AM): am i?
joshua_tisoy (4:41:22 AM): il do everything
bobsie_casasola (4:41:24 AM): will i?
joshua_tisoy (4:41:34 AM): nevermind na nga
bobsie_casasola (4:41:40 AM): am i hon?
joshua_tisoy (4:42:08 AM): ilang araw 2log yung trabaho sa u. sna ginawa ko nalang
joshua_tisoy (4:42:53 AM): thanx tlga ha.
bobsie_casasola (4:43:12 AM): you’ll have it in an hour.
joshua_tisoy (4:43:57 AM): u know how much u mean to me…why do u have to ask those things
joshua_tisoy (4:44:25 AM): u kno i love you
joshua_tisoy (4:44:51 AM): ikaw lang nagsasabi na hindi kita mahal
joshua_tisoy (4:45:31 AM): so hndi ka na magrereply…
bobsie_casasola (4:45:40 AM): because you know that i will do anything for you.. but sometimes when you ask me to do things its like youre asking your maid.. you only call me honey when you need something from me.. and sometimes you know that hurts..
bobsie_casasola (4:45:59 AM): a little please and a small thank you goes a long way for me…
joshua_tisoy (4:46:07 AM): u kno thats not tru
joshua_tisoy (4:46:08 AM): u kno thats not tru
joshua_tisoy (4:46:09 AM): u kno thats not tru
joshua_tisoy (4:46:10 AM): u kno thats not tru
joshua_tisoy (4:46:55 AM): ano ka ba.
bobsie_casasola (4:47:14 AM): okay.. lets stop this na… we both are just stressed…

and so we did.. said our i love you’s.. kissed through the webbie and totally forgot all about it na the next second.

STRONGER THAN STEEL BABY.. STRONGER THAN STEEL.

here’s how i described him in my friendster.

…was looking for someone to laugh in my defeat, cry in my victory, abuse me with passion, torture me with sweetness, question my fidelity and frustrate me with the silent beating of his heart that calls for me.i need him to be arrogant in his victory, infuriated in his defeat,conquer the norm and love the insanity of a lonely world. he must eat our tormentors for breakfast and feed the bones to our dog, be able to magnify his flaws and still, despite all of these he chooses to be with me and love me and i choose to love him and we shall shout it to the whole world, “stronger than steel, baby… stronger than steel.” guess i already found him.

awww man.. im such a poet. 😀

yabang ko talaga.. but this is us. this is our world.. you know i never thought he would love me this much. i always thought that i loved him more.. i didn’t see it the other way around.. that maybe i wasn’t just giving him enough credit to show how much he really loves me. when he said that “you know how much you mean to me.. why do you have to say those things? you know i love you…ikaw lang ang nagsasabing hindi kita mahal.”… i felt so bad. i have been so selfish all this time.. i just always wanted to love him with my whole being that it blinds the love he also would really want to share with me.

shame on you bob.

but obviously its all good. he waited for me again for 3 hours.. we’re basically in the net the whole day… where could there be a room for other girls besides me?

i just love it. thats why i know his song for me is always on my mind by elvis.. and im going to post that one also today.

good night. 😀