you got to let me go.
are we human or are we dancers?
they say that the practice makes perfect, but letting go is always as hard as it was the last time you did.
that is comforting and scary at the same time, to realize that no matter how much we try to take care of ourselves (our heart) – building walls, chasing pavements, trying something new, letting go of the old, facing our fears, doing the unexpected – all of these will end in a single stop of a heartbeat. everything changes. life is ephemeral.
so then, one cannot really stay in one place for as long as we want it. i am reminded of that one time in bistro while listening to streamline (now known as one walks away). they were singing, “am i very far now? am i very far now?” and i looked at the persons around me. after how many years, we were still in the same bar, with the same beautiful friends i had, vut for some reason, we were all not the same anymore. i turned to marsh for acknowledgement, and she understood. it can never be the same.
so is there anything wrong with that? not really, that’s what i think. besides, you can only REALLY deal on the things that are in front of you. tomorrow will always be 24 hours away. i just had to say really deal since i have a tendency to make my mind float to other things than what i am supposedto do at the moment. i get distrActed by shiny things.
there are days that i feel the toll of my overanalyzing and exteme idleness. contradicting perhaps, but those closest to me will understand on how i can do all that at the sAme time. to think and not to think about things. doing and not doing things.
and regrets… regrets eat me alive everyday but no matter how much technology can speed up our everyday things – the promise of a better, and more efficient tommorow – i dont think there will ever be a machine built to fix the things we did in the past. we may one day be able to fix mars to make it conducive for living, but we will never be able to fix our past. so no regrets. just dance.