i won’t be able to complete the simbang gabi this year, i have already missed two as of the present. it just sucks a bit since i always try to complete the masses.
as i went home this morning i was thinking of why i kept punishing myself for not being able to complete the simbang gabi this year, and so i have come to this shallow yet very humbling conclusion: i wanted my wishes to come true.
yeah, yeah, so i still believe in tooth fairies and pixie dust, and it kinda dawned upon me that on every mass i went to for simbang gabi, there was always a theme for each of the days. and that’s not really the bad part for me. the bad part is that as childlike as my intentions are for the wishes i had, it was childish of me to think that Direk won’t take care of me and my wishes if i didn’t complete the mass.
i have 8 days to go to make my 2009 memorable, and as sucky as i keep on saying my year has become, this has truly been a breathtaking, liver-wrecking, weight-gaining experience. truly, this is one of those chapters that i’ll laugh myself to tears. there are still some things that i can’t understand, but hey, as a good friend of mine keeps reminding me, “i am where i am supposed to be.”
and so i float and slap on some suntan lotion.