Well! It finally happened. Your big day is coming up. I’m sorry I’m not going to be able to make it, but I wanted to get in touch anyway and send something along. I wasn’t really sure what to send you, money or flowers, so I hope you like the orchid and vase. It was hard to decide on the orchid but something about it makes me think it was the right choice.
I’m at a small coffee shop at the outdoor mall we used to frequent back on Long Island. I’ve been coming here a lot. There are pretty glass tables with this mottled brush texture, like it’s been swept over thousands of times. And the coffee’s good. The Colombian stuff, tar black. There are a few sandwiches that aren’t too bad. I think you’d like it.
The waitress is real nice. I wouldn’t say we’re friends, but I do talk to her here and there. She’s been taking classes at the community college and I think she is a psychology major, like you were back in school. A little too young for me, though. Oh, one thing about her – the owners keep all the tea up on a shelf where she has to reach up on her tippy toes to get them, and every time she does it she reminds me of —- ah. Don’t want to get started.
So, Marie, how are things? I know it’s been awhile since we’ve talked, let alone seen each other, but I can’t say I’m not interested in what’s been going on. My friends have talked a lot about you. I know a few have met Ronnie, and they all say he’s a great guy. Great job, good looks, loves kids. I kind of assumed, in some way, that you wouldn’t have met someone like him. I sure haven’t met someone like that.
Since the last time we were together I haven’t really seen anyone else. I’m starting to think that I’ve been subconsciously saving myself. For what, I’m not too sure. I guess I thought if I waited long enough you might come back. But now it’s official, isn’t it? You’re not going to come back. Too much time has passed and too many mistakes have been made. I mean, hell. Even this is probably a mistake. If I was in your position and I got this letter, what would I do with this information? Nothing, I guess. It wouldn’t make any difference to me, I’d be fine either way.
I guess now the only thing I can do is let go and move on. Forever hold my peace, as they say. ”Forever hold your peace.” That’s the line that gets me. That’s another reason I can’t make it to your wedding, Marie. And for that I apologize. I’d be so torn when I heard it that I wouldn’t know whether to stand up and plead with you not to do it, or to keep quiet and let you live your life.
God knows I want more than anything for you to be happy. It’s all I ever wanted, you know? To see you happy. I just never wanted to see you happy without me.
Congratulations. Please do not write back. – David.