in which i am on my way for my graduation retreat

last weekend i had the opportunity and the privilege to once again serve Direk for the 47th weekend of SE. this one’s a bit different (and a little more special) since i had 3 friends who joined the weekend: mcq, carcar and mimi.

i was not supposed to go friday night (since i had a pending entrance exam at 7am the next day – but that’s a different topic altogether) but the three were so insistent for me to be there during the welcome of their weekend that i obviously budged and went up to cavite with them.  to cut the whole story short, i went up friday night, got back around 3am, went to sleep, woke up around 530, took the test by 7-ish and ended around 10ish.  i was looking forward to sleeping on the bus on the way back to the covenant house when my mom generously offered that i take the car (since i drove myself to ateneo) and be more relaxed that way.

i learned that there was nothing relaxing about driving ALONE and for the FIRST time on such a FAR location that i didn’t even know how to get there. suffice to say, i got lost (what’s a bob story without getting lost somewhere) and by the 2nd time i was going around the Mamplasan exit (i made new friends with the toll gate girls, by the way) i was already shouting to myself ROAAAAD TRIIIIIIIIIIIP!!! maybe out of kasabugan (from the test and from the puyat) and just not to make myself panic. i really wanted to rest already but i can’t stop driving. i must not stop driving.

special shout out to my marsh who called in the middle of that long journey and made sure that i was awake and reminding me that singing alone in the car just to keep myself awake is a pretty normal thing to do.

and so i arrived and served during the whole weekend.

there are so many points that i would like to write down right now but it seems that time cannot permit me to do so since i have to be in school by 11am and i haven’t taken a bath yet. maybe i shall discuss it after i get back from this retreat.

by the time i got home, i was riding on my SE high, but at the same time, knackered, exhausted, and drained down to my bone.  i wasn’t even able to take a bath or fix my stuff, all i remember was plopping down to my bed and sleeping my whole monday away.  i was in and out of it, only waking up since i was really thirsty and hungry. by the time i woke up around 5pm yesterday, i was already running a fever. my body was so weak that even as i type now i feel my muscles trembling inside me.  there is no strength left in them. i just had a fever.

i still have a fever. pero sinat nalang ata to.

i think this is what they call overfatigue.

but i have to stand up. Direk calls me once again to spend a few more days with him this time with my Ange family for the graduates’ retreat. upto this morning, i was kinda barganing with direk. “but direeeeeeeek, i already went on a retreat!! it’s still fresh!!! and i’m still tired from that retreat!!! baka naman pwede na yon diba? maybe i can tell them that i was on a retreat and they would allow me not to go anymore… maybe i can show the pictures….” and so on, i kept rationalizing to Him.

and then, that inner voice whispered to me, ” i just want to spend a little more time with you Bob, ayaw mo na tumambay?”

and so i stood up, and went here to the bathroom, where i am now typing this entry. mahihindian mo ba si Direk? hinde. i don’t think so.

there were just so many things that Direk enlightened me during the past weekend, and it is just now i realized the biggest difference with my SE weekend and this new one.  i was serving Him last weekend, and now, i shall be the candidate.  there will be no other distractions, thinking what time the next talk will be, or should we start preparing for this part.  this time, i get to relax and simply hang out with him – possibly the last time as a student.

so weary as my body is right now, i thank you Direk for giving me this time to simply hang with you, which you know i haven’t done for quite some time.  for some reason, i can hear you say,
“come to me all of you who are tired on carrying heavy loads.”

let’s chill and listen to crickets later.

i’m out.


Author: angparaluman

a poster girl with no poster staying on the safe side of the road less traveled.

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