little bursts

a couple of mondays ago, kuya jojo reminded me that Direk doesn’t even expect us to love Him back, but just to acknowledge and accept that He loves us, no matter what. it’s been going through my head for a couple of weeks now. 

do i really do that? everyday?

every morning when i wake up, and i suddenly dread another long day of deadlines, scheduled meetings, unexpected turn of events, i sometimes feel that i don’t want to leave my bed anymore (that and i really have a nasty habit of being lazy; and i really like my bed) i am reminded of what i posted in my mirror. 

 

new day. new bob.

 

in actuality, Direk just gave me another day to be me, and cliche as it may sound, it is really a present from him. 

 

i haven’t been writing down a lot of things lately, but it doesn’t mean there is nothing going on in my head. contrary, there are too many things going about in my head that i haven’t had the time to write it down.

or again, it could be another dose of my laziness – indifference too, maybe.

and now i realized that i ate my own words. not a very long time ago, i said that i will always have time. and that no matter what happens i will give time to my blog and to my writing. obviously, a more than a week has gone by and i haven’t done it.

but the brain farts are there, whether i am on the train or walking or even in between classes (shows how much i like to daydream)

it’s just that i have decided not to take action into it.

and just to clarify, if i don’t answer my phone after you calling 5 times and me not texting back, it really just means i don’t want to talk to you. and when i say i really don’t want to. it’s that simple. it’s not me being pakipot, or nagpapacute or me/you carrying excess baggage. it’s just not you. it’s really just me. trust me, i’m saving you the heartache.

here’s an irony: i don’t spend time in things/people/ideas that don’t matter to me, but i tend to lag time with things/people/ideas that matter to me. 

or again, that just maybe me being lazy – or indifferent.

i miss my blog. and i miss writing down my weird thoughts and ideas in it. 

my life right now is in a fast slow motion. do you get it? i don’t sometimes. 

 

but you just gotta move on.

 

i’m out.

Author: angparaluman

a poster girl with no poster staying on the safe side of the road less traveled.

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