20 things i’ll never say to you

i got tagged for this entry a long time ago (so long ago i can’t remember where it came from) but it was one of the numerous drafts i have for my blog. and since i am in no mood to write how my long day went, let’s spice it up with this entry.

the rules are simple: write about 20 things that you want to say to 20 people but you know you never will (or never want to). of course, the point here is not to say who the person is.

1. i really admire the woman that you’ve become. you are one of my inspirations and my idols in life. i sure wouldn’t mind to be like you someday. it may be surprising if you didn’t know this, but you are such a strong, passionate and amazing woman. don’t let anybody else tell you that you’re not.

2. there was a time in my life i was sure that we would be best friends forever, but i guess our chapter was over. and that’s okay, because you were really a cool best friend. seeing where you are now, i think there is a possibility that if we do hang again, we would be able to get the friendship we once had, but i guess i am happy with what i have now, and so should you.

3. i hope you realize how lucky you are in life. some people would never have the things you take forgranted right now, and i hate it everytime you bitch about your life. THERE’S NOTHING TO BITCH ABOUT. grow up, you brat. and i’m sorry, i’m not scared of you. my silence does not equate to fear. it just simply means i refuse to use precious brain cells to welcome your negativity.

4. sometimes i wish you were not the one for him. but if you are and you make him happy, then that’s fine with me.

5. i used to hate you, and then for a time i took pity on you, and now i’m just curious whether s/he does the same things s/he did to her/him. and if s/he still does, i suggest you run away. far away. but then again, why would you listen to me? it seems you’re already trapped as you are.

6. i still don’t know what i should feel about you. all i know is that we can never be the same way again. we never were. come to think about it, i don’t think we can ever be friends.

7. you are my anchor. i believe that you’re one of Direk’s best gifts to me. if i sum up all the words i know, it would still be useless to fully define your role in my life. even putting these useless words together would be meaningless compared to what i want to say. so don’t abuse it.

8. you have become so self-righteous about love that i’m not sure if you have noticed it.

9. i never really liked you in the first place. i just thought lunch would be great.

10. you have that special wing in my heart. and i’m pretty sure no one else will occupy it but you.

11. stop messing with the people i love. i still don’t know what i am capable of doing when i finally get angry, and i really don’t want to know. so don’t push me. don’t even dare try taunting me. things will really, really get nasty.

12. i’m keeping my eye on you. don’t ever think that i’m not. and if you do feel that i am, then i hope you respect it. that’s all i’m asking from you.

13. we met when i was in high school, and i was surprised that one day, i dreamt about getting married to you when i was in college. then i realized that i had a crush on you! you are so adorable and gentlemanly, and it still make me fuzzy inside that you still remember me when we bump to each other occasionally.

14. you’re one of the few persons who can break my heart with a glance. please be careful in using it.

15. you lazy bastard. i thought i was lazy, but i haven’t met anyone more lazy than you. the more you keep asking for my help, the more i will say no.

16. you hurt her/him more than you should have, and that hurt me more. i hope you think about what you did to her/him every single night.

17. it takes no effort for you to make me smile. and i really, really appreciate that.

18. i wish you were still here to guide me as i go through my life, but then you’re not. so i keep our conversations embedded in my head in hopes that somewhere through our endless conversations, i would find my answer there. and most of the time, i do. thank you for being a wonderful mentor and friend.

19. i really feel embarrassed when you tell me a story and then when you tell it again it becomes a different story. you are a good friend. i hope you at least acknowledge that i am there and i’ve heard your original story. you’re a really good person. i hope you stop lying so people can see how beautiful you are.

20. i know you caught me that one time and i’m glad we never talked about it. and i hope we will never talk about it. it still makes me squirm everytime i remember. i never did that again.

Author: angparaluman

a poster girl with no poster staying on the safe side of the road less traveled.

2 thoughts on “20 things i’ll never say to you”

  1. great entry, bob.
    it’s good to know you still write insightful and curious entries. some things haven’t changed. i never updated my blog you know. it’s not the same without the muse.
    anyway, i’ll be dropping from time to time.
    don’t be a stranger now.🙂

  2. i’m still debating whether i would like to be part of the 20, or not. what do you think?

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