25 Worst High School Essay Analogies

Got this from Regene, and i just thought it was too hilarious not to share to everyone.

Makes me wonder if i was that bad when i was in high school!

Enjoy!!🙂

Popular and funny list of analogies used
in high school essays. Some of them are
pretty inventive.

1. The ballerina rose gracefully en
Pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a fire
hydrant.

2. She had a deep, throaty, genuine
laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
before it throws up.

3. His thoughts tumbled in his head,
making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a dryer without Cling
Free.

4. He fell for her like his heart was a
mob informant, and she was the East
River.

5. Her hair glistened in the rain, like
a nose hair after a sneeze.

6. She grew on him like she was a colony
of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature
Canadian beef

7. He spoke with the wisdom that can
only come from experience, like a guy
who went blind because he looked at a
solar eclipse without one of those boxes
with a pinhole in it and now goes around
the country speaking at high schools
about the dangers of looking at a solar
eclipse without one of those boxes with
a pinhole in it.

8. Her face was a perfect oval, like a
circle that had its two sides gently
compressed by a ThighMaster.

9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like,
whatever.

10. He was as tall as a six-foot,
three-inch tree.

11. The revelation that his marriage of
30 years had disintegrated because of
his wife’s infidelity came as a rude
shock, like a surcharge at a formerly
surcharge-free ATM machine.

12. The little boat gently drifted
across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn’t.

13. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the
pavement like a Hefty bag filled with
vegetable soup.

14. From the attic came an unearthly
howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you’re on
vacation in another city and Jeopardy
comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

15. The hailstones leaped from the
pavement, just like maggots when you fry
them in hot grease.

16. Long separated by cruel fate, the
star-crossed lovers raced across the
grassy field toward each other like two
freight trains, one having left
Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55
mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m.
at a speed of 35 mph.

17. They lived in a typical suburban
neighborhood with picket fences that
resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

18. John and Mary had never met. They
were like two hummingbirds who had also
never met.

19. Even in his last years, Granddad had
a mind like a steel trap, only one that
had been left out so long it had rusted
shut.

20. Shots rang out, as shots are wont
to do.

21. The plan was simple, like my
brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
this plan just might work.

22. The young fighter had a hungry look,
the kind you get from not eating for a
while.

23. He was as lame as a duck. Not the
metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
real duck that was actually lame, maybe
from stepping on a land mine or
something.

24. It was an American tradition, like
fathers chasing kids around with power
tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she
spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
she were a garbage truck backing up.

Author: angparaluman

a poster girl with no poster staying on the safe side of the road less traveled.

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