i just come home from my boys night out. we went to Ponti for an open bar party and i drank.
because of my career, i have learned to curb my drinking habits. well, i didn’t exactly do that last year, but when Jates came, i learned to control it more because:
1. he’s allergic to alcohol
2. grabe naman talaga ang drinking habits ko before that.
funny that this was my reading for tonight, kasi i was just thinking of the song of Itchyworms. the song goes, “ano ba talagang mas gusto ko? ang beer na ‘to o ang pagibig mo?”
kaya kong sagutin yan! 😛
see, the way i have interpreted the reading was, it’s not really the alcohol that is the enemy, it’s the concept of what i am drowning with the help of my vices.
there was a time in my life that i can finish almost a case of Red Horse and still be sane the next day.
i have also tried almost all available drugs in the market. Although, i never tried intravenous drugs (wow, bob. congrats.) i think i have toked, smoked, snorted and popped most of the mainstream drugs BEFORE.
clean nako ngayon, men.
my only defense is that during that time, it felt it was the right thing to do. add to my favorite motto, I CAN ONLY LIVE ONCE, so at least, TRY EVERYTHING ONCE.
i knew what i was doing, but then agian, i knew exactly that i was just trying to drown everything.
which is where Direk is supposed to step in.
this evil intelligence goes beyond my own, and only with Direk i will be able to conquer them. galing talaga ni Direk.
today was suppose to mark my 6th month with Jates. i was never big with monthsaries because my past 2 relationships went on years, but, 6 months is a half year.
let me just write it down, that i missed you today. i just thought of you a bit more today and how fast time goes by.
i am writing it down so i know it is real. i am new to this conquering the truth thingy, so i don’t really know if i am doing the right thing.
as said earlier, the only defense i hae is that i think this is the right thing to do at this very moment, and i can hear Direk saying, ” I have wonderful plans for you, Bob. steady ka lang.”
so, i just wanted you to know, at least through this entry, that you are deeply, and sincerely missed.