I have not said, “seek Me in vain.”
we live in an imperfect world. this makes sense because we are imperfect beings.
i can’t make much of the reading today, but let me focus more on the theme of this week.
i am a witness of this. i finally met my shepherd. 🙂
i can say that i am an open person – technically – when you ask me something, i will answer it. but here’s the catch – if i am not close to you, most of my stories will be laced with an air of indifference; or tolerance – if put lightly. i shrink down my feelings to a notch that would still be pleasant enough to talk about trivial things when the situation gets too – well, for a lack of a better term – damp.
i cried a while ago. i cried in front of a person i barely knew. which i would only do to my marsh.
i still feel hurt. not betrayed, just hurt. a hollow pain that doesn’t go away.
does this mean, i have less trust in Him? because i pray, and i know that He loves me. but somehow my hollowness is just there, sitting pretty in my heart’s little corner.
direk, i know you love me. and i should never even try to compare your love to human love, but can i just stay here a bit longer? i know you have created a sunny day for me but somehow, it’s still not that bright.
please help me sleep. i’m so physically tired of not being able to sleep at night.
but, should it be that i must simmer here a bit longer, then i’ll stay. after all, these wounds are nothing compared to the wounds you received in the cross. a person’s rejection to me is nothing compared to the rejection you go through every single day from the brothers and sisters we have.
so kung kaya mo, ito ay kakayanin ko din.