taken from my journal entry tonight:
“…damn it. i write in my blog, and still i write in my journal, both with super different entries, both saying the truth in different levels. but how long can i go on like this? until when? this is actually a very comfortable position i am in. just near enough to get involved, and just far enough from hurt’s way. it’s easier to blame the stars for everything that’s messed up in our lives. that “it’s my destiny.” the stars don’t move. and they are too far to be questioned. but i still end up believing in them, because when something grand and breath-taking happens in my life and i don’t want to take credit for it now, or later on, it’s still destiny.
face it bob, just like what chants said, you look tough, but you’re chicken shit. you let stars, unknown forces and higher beings rule your life when you know, YOU KNOW very well you can do something about it.
now that you actually wrote it down, will you be brave enough to do something about it?
my answer is still no…”