music: You dont miss your water – Craig David
i really find it so amusing how these “-ster” accounts make me get in touch with my past.
i dare not name the person who’s account i saw recently here in Zorpia. who would have thought these people would actually have a Zorpia account. i mean, they are just not the type who would… with their lifestyle and preferences in life.
yes you can taste resentment popping out of my tounge. i still can’t help but feel upset the whole thing. seeing all of them made the memories rush all over me again. it’s not really bitterness e.. and given the choice to return with them again, i would never do it.
they have been a part of my life that i can never ever erase. our worlds would always, always clash especially when i would go back home. but what to do? i have become a myth in their lives – no one is actually sure that it ever happened, but the story lives on.
i saw his picture.. he hasn’t changed much.. a new haircut but it still looks dopey as usual. its funny since i never really got close to him, yet i feel this certain attachment to him, a bittersweet smile comes across my face everytime i remember him. we had our moments, but he was my Judas. he was the one who shouted.
the other one? he hasn’t changed as well.. those sleepy eyes and half smirk half grin that always greets me when i see him, its still all there. he has matured – as so did everybody else, but i can never forget that single picture that said it all. i think i still have it, locked inside a masking – taped – box. that stare has always captivated me. i never meant to be close to him but we became close. and some people really just had to ruin it. what mad eme feel bad the most was he was a coward. beneath that macho james dean look was a man who was afraid to stand up for what was right. and he just let go of everything – just like that. i thought we were friends. THAT WAS WHAT I THOUGHT.
oh, but i can never deny the happy moments i had with them. it was a riot. there was no day like the other. bumming around seemed so cool.
i was young then. very young. maybe thats why i still keep it in me. at those times when i my belief in people were fragile, it was shattered, stepped upon and left to dust.
i learned that sometimes people can be downright cruel, that most of your friends would cower to hold what is popular, and not the truth. i learned the evil poison of gossip.
well, well, what do you know, a couple of years later, gossips still tail me like a fish following bait.
as much as i want to wish them all the happiness in the world, i’d rather not, since i know it would never affect them. instead i wish myself more happiness. at least now, more or less i know who my real friends are.
on a “heavier” note…
i feel fat again. no, i dont feel fat, i know i am fat.
okay maybe fat is to exagerrated.
i know that there are bulges being created right now on my sides, and i dont like it. i’ll be home in less than two weeks. i can’t be unfit when i go home.. i have too many activities planned.
gawd i feel bloated.
but i can answer that coz i bought Haagen Daz again. Vanilla Brownie Caramel. nearly better than sex.
gotta sleep now, have a loong day tomorrow.