jukebox

mood: content
music: All My Life – America

I’m not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn’t do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I’m sorry that I hurt you
It’s something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why I need you to hear

I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I’m not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I’ve found a reason to show
A side of me you didn’t know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

I just really, really had to post that song since its been bothering me for WEEKS now. It wouldn’t stop haunting my mind. There’s a nagging feeling to just keep listening to it.. Trying to connect it to someone, but so far I can’t come up with the answer.

Or maybe I just don’t want to face the answer itself.

Don’t get me wrong. I love papa j with all my heart. But no one is perfect. There will always be things that you would find with another person that you would never find in your partner. But that doesn’t make me love him less.. And because of these imperfections and comparisons I know that I shall love him more everyday. That is the bigger weight that makes me stay with him.

How did you know
I needed someone like you in my life
That there’s an empty space in my heart
You came at the right time in my life

I’ll never forget
How you brought the sun to shine in my life
And took all the worried and fears that I had
I guess what I’m really trying to say
It’s not everyday that someone like you comes my way
No words can express how much I love you

He sang to me a while ago. The nutcase…J its this new hit in the Philippines because of this upcoming movie. I was just really surprised when he “sang” that song for me. I have to be honest that at first I felt offended with the song.. Because of the empty space part.. But then I was just being paranoid all over again because of the damn distance thing.. And I slowly realized that once again I was trying to belittle his love for me.. And again, magnify my love for him. Sometimes I still can’t come to believe that he loves me as much as I love him..but then again, when I really think about it now, do I love him as much as he loves me? Now I can really say that Love is Blind. It blinds us too much.

Hmmm.. Feeling quite happy and contented today.. which is good, really, for a change of atmosphere naman. I’ve been so down the past few weeks that its time to get up and jump around again! And since this is a jukebox entry anyway, here’s my song for him:

All my life, without a doubt I give you
All my life, now and forever till the
Day I die, you and I will share
All the things this changing world can offer
So I sing, I’d be happy just to
Stay this way, spend each day, with you
There was a time, that I just thought
That I would lose my mind
You came along and then the sun did shine
We started on our way
I do recall that every moment spent
Was wasted time but then I chose to lay it on the line
I put the past away
I put the past away
I put the past away
All my life, I will carry you through
All my life, between each hour of the passing days
I will stay with you
There was a time, that I just thought
That I would lose my mind
You came along and then the sun did shine
We started on our way
I do recall that every moment spent
Was wasted time then I chose to lay it on the line
I want this all my life
I want this all my life
I want this all my life
I want this all my life
I want this all my life
I wanted this all my life

There. Much better. I love this song so much. Its so simple that a Grade 3 kid could have written it yet it has touched even the deepest creases in my heart. Hehe. Damn I love this feeling. I really do. Thank God I’m alive!! Yippee!!

Anyway, I watched the FRIENDS marathon a while ago in Channel 4. It was the Britain’s Top 10 FRIENDS.. I got to catch the top 5 only coz I was chatting with pangs, but I was totally laughing my head out!

Makes me think if someday I get to live like that independently from my family and dependently on my friends. Their bond was created so deeply that I crave for that intensity too. But that’s the US. And UK is not that far away too. But for that to happen in the Philippines is really not that attainable, since we have such close family ties. Hay ewan! Wont let that thought suck me back to thinking cynically.

Going to the beach tomorrow. THANK GOD I finally can remember how sun feels like. Im so pale I think im turning into a ghost now. Can’t wait to shoot some good pictures, if ever I won’t be stuck taking care of my niece. A basta, I plan to have a great time tomorrow. Got all my fingers crossed!

I’m finally out.

Author: angparaluman

a poster girl with no poster staying on the safe side of the road less traveled.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s