so far away…

mood: contemplative
music: So Far Away – Carole King

okay.. i’m feeling a bit better na today.. but still deep with the blues … so there…

i had an arguement with papa j a while ago… actually it was already around 4 i the morning..i wasn’t really waiting for him anymore but he came and obviously i wasn’t the best person to talk to that time and i really needed sum.. well.. ahehe.. good lovin’… *wink*

you know im really easy to please.. most of my friends know that.. in fact its easy to see that i have such a shallow sense of humor.. throw me a joke anytime and ill crack like a fresh egg.. and same goes with making me lambing.. it takes the most minimal effort to make my frown upside down again.. only, my dear boyfriend comes just a little bit below that minimal requirement of mine.

FRUSTRATING, i know. all i receieved when i asked so bluntly, “HONEY, I’M SO SAD… I NEED LAMBING.. all i got was i love you

well, THE EFFORT WAS THERE.. at least diba? gosh but that time i was so frustrated that sometimes he can be soooo INSENSITIVE.. but hey, aren’t all men like that? WHAHAHAHAHA!!

poor me, throwing and catching my own pathetic jokes at the same time..i should have joined the circus.

anyway i went to bed with a heavy heavy heart.. hay.. i hate conflicts and fights.. so i spent the whole day worrying that he got mad at me.. and realizing that he just godamn woke up that time.. GIVE THE GUY A BREAK! awww… bad bob.

well we talked kanina and it was all good. that’s what i like about us.. we just need to clear the air and understand each other.. he actually said that he was kinda pissed kanina but nothing that a small game of billiards cannot fix. Ü sad thing is that we lost P800. WAAAAHHH… thats a lot of money back home.. now if i just converted that.. well… it would just be £8.. enough to buy me a good lunch.. but now that i think about it.. back home it could buy me a pretty good lunch too!

i feel so guilty about my P900.. i never forsaw (is there such a word?) that i would lose some of the babies that i was taking care of.. its really good that im down to 2 but its bad for my income.. geeezz…i had no outlet of — well… — “life” that i busied myself shopping most of the time.. getting things that back in the philippines i had no means of getting.. but now although i can keep my phone.. its getting to be quite expensive narin.. talking bout the tarrifs and stuff. i guess i can tell my ate to get nalang my line and buy nalang a new line for me.. with a much cheaper phone.

in line with that.. she is planning to make me keep the p900 in exchange that i go home next year. NO WAY PARDNER… wild horses can’t even stop me from going back home. I NEED A DAMN LIFE. i need a warm life.

i think the weather here magnifies the somber mood that i have.. maybe if it was a bit sunnier.. i would feel so much better.. i’ve always loved the rays of the sun even though everone says that its bad for your health… well everything is anyway so why not die happy?

got an email again from my school.. i’ll be setting up an interview soon.. geez. gotta polish my english… only i have no idea how. WWHAHAAH!!!

until now i still can’t get the hang of hearing people talk brit its really different that american english.. its like they eat the words or like they have cotton stuck in their mouth.. heehee.. but now that im living here.. i like brits way more than french and americans.. wow.. am i developing brit pride? geez..

so there.. that was basically my day.. pulling myself from the super depressed mode that i am in.. you know i let myself wallow into these things.. but its never to early to jump out of it.. its just so not bob. i think no matter how bad my situation in life is.. i can never live life without a smile.. somehow out there i know something can make me happy.. no matter how miniscule it is.. just like this smiley face over here –>Ü

im out.Ü


Author: angparaluman

a poster girl with no poster staying on the safe side of the road less traveled.

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